He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
