Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
