Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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