Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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