the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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