I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
