he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
