two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize