My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
