Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
