My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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