I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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