He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
