bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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