i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
