I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
