are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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