I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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