is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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