I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
