rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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