her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize