he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Randomize
