Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
