ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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