I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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