hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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