i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
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Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
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DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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