i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
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