I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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