Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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