Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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