This is not my ceiling
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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