Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He passed out mid-signature
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
