he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He uses pillows to masturbate.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
