are you still at the devil's house?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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