Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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