so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Why did my mother make you get naked?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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