I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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