I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
