i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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