Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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