Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
