lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
