South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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