Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
