I'm laying in your front yard are you home
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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