I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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