i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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