So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
