you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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