Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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