i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
