I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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