New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
