clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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