Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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