That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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