I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
