eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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