Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
