Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
