Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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