The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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