Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
