I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
